I am so fed up with struggling to control not only my blood sugar, but also the panic/anxiety disorder that I’ve developed because of my hypoglycemia. Like I posted earlier, I had a blood sugar attack in the middle of the night and into the morning between Wed. and Thurs. this week. Because of that, I’m currently (it’s Sat. now) extra fragile and worried I’ll have another. Anyway, I drove up to beautiful Durango, CO yesterday to finally check out this quaint town to spend a 3 day weekend. I was a bit nervous about driving the 3.5 hours as my anxiety attacks are triggered by feeling remote/far from home (amongst other things). But, I’ve been doing better due to hypnosis and EMDR therapies. I did fine most of the day and was busy touristing and taking tons of pictures. See them here: http://share.shutterfly.com/share/received/welcome.sfly?fid=31b0a52477d20dfc&sid=0AYs27Ni1ctmLL7g
But, just after getting to the youth hostel I’m staying at, I started to not feel good. The youth hostel is a bit outside of town and has a more remote feeling. And being remote is one of my panic triggers. I checked my blood sugar and it was 124, but I didn’t know if it had started swinging or something. I ate some food and felt worse. I totally felt like my blood sugar was off, but an EMT who is staying here thought I might be having altitude sickness. I couldn’t tell if it was my blood sugar, the 6,512′ height (although I live at 5,000′), or panic. I got really scared as I was getting worse and it wasn’t like I could easily get home. It’s a 3.5 hour drive through very remote parts of New Mexico.
Thank God for the people at this hostel because they purposely kept me talking about anything and everything to try to take my mind off myself. That, mixed with giving in and eating tuna fish for major protein, I eventually started to feel better. Psychologically, eating a big dose of protein, even if I don’t need it, makes me feel “safer” blood sugar wise. I really don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be 100% vegan again until I can get this anxiety disorder under control. It’s so frustrating. And, if panic attacks go on long enough, they CAN mess up my blood sugar for real. Right now I’m not sure what is worse…having hypoglycemia or the panic attacks the hypoglycemia has caused.
I’m still debating if I’m going to stay until tomorrow, as planned, or if I’m going to go home early. It’s so pretty here, I’d like to stay. But, we’ll see how I feel. I do NOT want to go through more of what I went through last night. Of course, knowing now that it was indeed a panic attack, that should help. I really did fear it was the altitude for a while. But, I go to Taos and Santa Fe and both of those towns are higher than Durango.
I don’t want to have to go on medication, but I might have to…sigh.