Hypoglycemia induced panic/anxiety attacks are ruining my life!

I am so fed up with struggling to control not only my blood sugar, but also the panic/anxiety disorder that I’ve developed because of my hypoglycemia.  Like I posted earlier, I had a blood sugar attack in the middle of the night and into the morning between Wed. and Thurs. this week.  Because of that, I’m currently (it’s Sat. now) extra fragile and worried I’ll have another.  Anyway, I drove up to beautiful Durango, CO yesterday to finally check out this quaint town to spend a 3 day weekend.  I was a bit nervous about driving the 3.5 hours as my anxiety attacks are triggered by feeling remote/far from home (amongst other things).  But, I’ve been doing better due to hypnosis and EMDR therapies.  I did fine most of the day and was busy touristing and taking tons of pictures.  See them here:  http://share.shutterfly.com/share/received/welcome.sfly?fid=31b0a52477d20dfc&sid=0AYs27Ni1ctmLL7g

But, just after getting to the youth hostel I’m staying at, I started to not feel good.  The youth hostel is a bit outside of town and has a more remote feeling.  And being remote is one of my panic triggers.  I checked my blood sugar and it was 124, but I didn’t know if it had started swinging or something.  I ate some food and felt worse.  I totally felt like my blood sugar was off, but an EMT who is staying here thought I might be having altitude sickness.  I couldn’t tell if it was my blood sugar, the 6,512′ height (although I live at 5,000′), or panic.  I got really scared as I was getting worse and it wasn’t like I could easily get home.  It’s a 3.5 hour drive through very remote parts of New Mexico.

Thank God for the people at this hostel because they purposely kept me talking about anything and everything to try to take my mind off myself.  That, mixed with giving in and eating tuna fish for major protein, I eventually started to feel better.  Psychologically, eating a big dose of protein, even if I don’t need it, makes me feel “safer” blood sugar wise.  I really don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be 100% vegan again until I can get this anxiety disorder under control.  It’s so frustrating.  And, if panic attacks go on long enough, they CAN mess up my blood sugar for real.  Right now I’m not sure what is worse…having hypoglycemia or the panic attacks the hypoglycemia has caused.

I’m still debating if I’m going to stay until tomorrow, as planned, or if I’m going to go home early.  It’s so pretty here, I’d like to stay.  But, we’ll see how I feel.  I do NOT want to go through more of what I went through last night.  Of course, knowing now that it was indeed a panic attack, that should help.  I really did fear it was the altitude for a while.  But, I go to Taos and Santa Fe and both of those towns are higher than Durango.

I don’t want to have to go on medication, but I might have to…sigh.

Carrie

Now even an orange made me sick. :-(

I have been doing well on a mixed (cooked and raw food) gluten free vegan diet for weeks now. I don’t know why I mess with things that are working, but I do. Because a gal on a Facebook hypoglycemic support page posted yesterday that she went raw and is feeling better than she’s felt in ages, I thought, "I need to go back to all raw food again!" I stopped off at a grocery store on my way home from work and loaded up on veggies and fruits. I had a big, fatty, tahini filled salad for dinner and did well except that I felt my blood sugar didn’t go up quite enough to safely take a walk…so I ate half of a glucose tablet to bump me up a little. I took a 30 minute fast walk and felt good. Later, I felt low on carbohydrate, so before bed I ate an orange…something I eat during the day on a daily basis and do fine with…and some peanut butter. I wanted to play it safe and made sure I had some protein and fat with the orange. Well, at about 3:30 a.m. I woke up not feeling good and had some of my classic low blood sugar symptoms. What was odd was that my blood sugar was 90, so it wasn’t technically low. But, if it was already down to 90 at just before 4:00 a.m. when I tested I didn’t want it to go lower either before it was time to get up and eat…so I had another half of a glucose tablet to bump me up to 100-101. That helped, and eventually I did doze off again. But when my alarm went off at 5:45 a.m. I clearly didn’t feel well and now had nausea on top of the other intestinal, heart, and weakness symptoms. I checked my sugar and I was 99! That is technically great! So why did I feel so bad?! I got ready for work but felt really nauseous and lightheaded. I started to get that panic feeling and because of that gave in and ate a chicken salad sandwich. In retrospect, something vegan probably would have worked, but when I start to feel like I’m losing control of my body and am panicking…I tend to eat whatever just to feel better. I tried to drive to work but only made it about a mile from my house when the nausea was so bad I turned around and went home. I laid down and about 2 hours later I started to feel more normal. I ended up heading off to work around 10:20 a.m. and still feel weak, but better. I’ll have to take it easy today. I’m planning a short trip to Durango, CO tomorrow so I pray to God I’ll be okay. Normally, when I have an unstable night/day like this it affects me for many days afterward. But, I’ll TRY to think positively. I just can’t figure out WHY an orange did that to me?! Did it have something to do with my body’s circadian rhythms or what? I’m just so tired of the struggle…sigh. I’m suspecting that I felt bad at 90 because I may have fallen to that number quickly from a much higher number. My main issue is always the rate of my drops, not how far I fall. But, by eating peanut butter with the orange, it SHOULD have stopped me from spiking and rapidly dropping…so I don’t know.

Carrie

That’s right, exercise SURE is good for you! Bah!

Besides the fact that I am a bit concerned about my bone density and aging…i.e. sagging butt, I joined a gym at the end of February to TRY to improve my body’s handling of blood sugar. Article after article says how important it is to exercise to improve everything from bone density to brain function to glucose control. Well, on Thursday night after just 30 minutes of running (for 15) and fast walking uphill (for 15) I got incredibly dizzy and had to sit down. Actually, a personal trainer or other gym employee nearby made me sit down when he saw me not looking good. I had made sure to suck on a small piece of hard candy in an effort to keep my blood sugar up, but I still dropped too low. Cardio exercise really makes me burn through blood sugar FAST. Now I know why they tell diabetics it’s important to exercise to bring down their blood sugar. But what about we hypoglycemics?!

Tonight I made sure to eat real food before going to the gym so that something like that wouldn’t happen again. I decided to do weight training instead of aerobic exercise to also, hopefully, prevent a dizziness recurrence…and also for variety. But what happened tonight? Not only did I get dizzy, but I was also hit with major nausea and thought I was going to barf on the pec-fly machine, got shaky, and got weak. Yeah, exercise SURE is good for me! Argh! The only things that haven’t made me sick lately are gentle walking and yoga…but then again…I broke a toe in yoga. Basically, exercise kills. Don’t let the experts fool you! :-/

Besides this whining, I’d like to whine about the fact just half a serving of wine last night threw my blood sugar off (although I think I might not have eaten enough carbohydrate with dinner) and I had to bring my own gluten free, vegan, hypoglycemic lunch today when I went on the Placitas Studio Tour with friends. They got to eat whatever their hearts desired without a second thought at a cafe. But nooooooo, not me! One girl had huge fluffy pancakes with bananas on top and syrup. I practically went into sugar shock just seeing what she ate. Of course, she felt great. I’m so tired of hypoglycemia!!!!!

Grumble,
Carrie

Bananas are evil!

I learned the hard way Sunday night that bananas are NOT my friend. Because I have been doing better in general, I got too confident and ate half of a medium large banana before bed with some peanut butter. MISTAKE. Not too long afterward, my heart started thumping/racing bad and I got other blood sugar messed up symptoms like intestinal distress (TMI?) that lasted until after midnight. Although my blood sugar didn’t seem crazy high when I checked, it was swinging…and once I start swinging, I feel cruddy. I just cannot tolerate bananas anymore. L I used to live on bananas years ago…sigh. They are just too high in sugar for me. Mom said yesterday that she can’t eat them anymore either as her blood sugar skyrockets. (She’s diabetic.)

To be honest, my excitement over my current raw vegan diet is waning. I do REALLY well when I eat fatty salads (typical salad is lettuce, tomato, a few mini carrots…just a few as they are sugary, half an avocado, ¼ cup of tahini…for protein, and a splash of gluten free tamari) but I do need carbohydrate and, of course, my only source for carbs is fruit. An apple bothered my blood sugar yesterday. Normally I do well with apples, but, nope. I still do well with oranges and seemingly do well with pears. But, I’m feeling intuitively that I’m getting out of balance and my higher fruit intake as a raw food person isn’t in my long term best interest as fruit is still considered a “simple sugar”…albeit natural. Also, I’ve been having some digestion issues with all the excess roughage and I don’t think I’m actually digesting raw food as well as I expected to. And, my HIGH fat intake eating this way is wreaking havoc with my skin. I’m a bit concerned about possible consequences of eating all the fat I’m eating while eating this way. I got a newsletter from Dr. John McDougall last night reminding me that supposedly even “healthy” oils like olive oil can cause clogged arteries. I cannot do the ultra low fat, ultra high fruit raw diets that some people propose. I know that would be way too much sugar for my pancreas and liver to handle.

So, right now I’m not sure what to do. I’m getting some benefits from raw, but things are not perfect.

Carrie

I may have found the answer after all!

I have been on and off a vegan diet since late November 2010 when my endocrine system blew and I became very hypoglycemic.  For almost 2 months at the beginning of this year I had been doing so much better (thanks to a holistic doctor who detoxed my liver and intestines) I was able to be on a lower carb vegan diet…until…I had a panic attack one night that got so bad it messed up my blood sugar.  I panicked more and ate meat thinking that was the only thing that would stabilize me.  With that, I went back to an omnivore diet.  I have to admit, that eating anywhere other than home when you are vegan, gluten free, and hypoglycemic is very hard….and stressful.  And stress affects your blood sugar control.

Anyway, stubborn person that I am (wanting to be vegan again for numerous reasons) I went back on a mostly raw food diet (today is day 4) and cannot BELIEVE how much better my blood sugar is doing!  I had been mostly raw for a long time in the early 2000s and recalled how stable my blood sugar was back then (but I also didn’t have the severe problem back then that I have now), my skin cleared up, my eternally bad digestive tract healed, and my female hormones got better.  I have been doing so well, I even risked it and ate a banana yesterday afternoon (have not been able to tolerate bananas since 2010) and did okay.  It did seem to affect me slightly as kind of a delayed reaction, but really not bad at all.  Keep in mind that normally bananas make my blood sugar skyrocket and plummet like a rock leaving me sick feeling.  The key has been figuring out just how much fruit:vegetables I can handle.  I am sticking to lower glycemic fruits like oranges, apples, and pears for the most part.  I have thrown a little mango into some salads though.  I’m eating BIG and FATTY salads twice a day with fruit in-between.  I am eating truckloads of nuts, seeds, nut butters, tahini, and peanut butter (that is roasted).  I am also able to eat more food and calories yet not gain weight.  In fact, I’m going to have to watch that I don’t lose weight.

I’m leery to say “I’ve found a cure for hypoglycemia!” yet want to shout that.  Only with more time will I confidently be able to say I’ve found the answer.  Right now I have the most hope I’ve had for a long time.  I will never be 100% raw as I refuse to give up roasted peanut butter and coffee, but mostly raw seems to work.  What I’ve discovered, especially, is that cooked starches are just NOT good for me.  There is no denying it.  That’s sad but true.

Hopefully,

Carrie

Menopause HELL

After what I’ve gone through since I was 44 (with the sudden onset of severe hypoglycemia) and the now worsening symptoms (at age 46) of sleeplessness/restless sleep, and increasingly bad panic/anxiety attacks, I’m convinced all of this is peri-menopause related.  I didn’t know that panic attacks ARE a known symptom and they are ruining my life.  Like I don’t already have enough to deal with having hypoglycemia and chronic head pain with one side of my face sinking due to my 1995 neck injury.  I had a horrible night last night….nonstop anxiety with racing heart, fear, intestinal distress, etc. so that it affected my blood sugar and I couldn’t get it to stay up until I gave in and ate tuna fish with some brown rice.  Yes, I had to eat fish. I didn’t know what else to do.  Here I’d been doing pretty good as a vegan again since December 31st…but…I just can’t maintain a gluten free (yet another restriction) vegan diet with my blood sugar and physiology the way it is now.  I just want to cry. I wish I was a guy.  Guys have it so much easier.  I am going to try hypnosis for the panic issue, but I am suspecting I’m going to need medication or hormone therapy.  There are other symptoms my body is going through major hormone changes.  I pray to God I don’t have to feel like crap for another 8 years or so.

Carrie

I’m not sure what’s worse…hypoglycemia or panic attacks triggered by it.

The GREAT news is that I’m still doing well and have now been vegan again since December 31, 2012.  At least I’m doing well blood sugar-wise.  I’m not doing so well panic attack-wise.  The severe low blood sugar attacks that happened when my endocrine system first blew in November 2010…and the VERY unstable blood sugar I battled for over 2 years (and still have to manage) have triggered a panic/anxiety disorder in me that I can’t seem to control.  Whenever I feel like I’m in a remote place, or if I feel trapped, or not near medical care or adequate food…a panic attack ensues.  The symptoms are very similar to my blood sugar being off so sometimes it’s hard to tell what is going on.  One happened again last night when I was out for Valentine’s Day with some friends at a bar/restaurant.  Because as a gluten free vegan there wasn’t much for me to eat, I got nervous even though I checked my sugar and it was 97 and I did have trail mix and extra peanuts in my purse…and started to freak out.  I got the classic racing heart, intestinal distress, feeling like I was going to die, etc.  I really did think it was some hypoglycemic thing until I ended up leaving the gathering early and the moment I got out side and knew I was going home, my body totally calmed down.  When these panic attacks happen, even though I know LOGICALLY that I’m not going to die and that I’m safe, it doesn’t matter.  I simply cannot control them and calm down.  I hate it!  I’m becoming borderline agoraphobic as I only feel really “safe” at home.  So far I’m able to go to work (because I know there are doctors handy) and do things around town, but I have had episodes in stores before.  I popped a Rescue Remedy pastille last night and it helped, briefly, but then all the panic feelings came back again.  I can’t live like this.  It’s severely affecting my life but I don’t know what to do.  I am someone who has traveled the world alone and yet even driving an hour up to Santa Fe sometimes makes me nervous now.  It’s so upsetting. Any suggestions are greatly welcomed.

Thank you,

Carrie